As much as this is my favorite holiday season of all time, I can still remember how to hate the holidays.
Last night I had a long, ongoing series of weird dreams. Most of them involving a significant figure from my past. I partially hold my manager at my new job responsible. Yesterday we figured out that we were hanging out with the same people for a few years, but she was there during the day, and I was there at night. So we have enemies in common. The girls in this group were psychos. Except us, of course. But we have the same yucky memories of these nasty chicks. So she brought that group up at work.
I thought I'd forgotten it all by bedtime, but I kept waking up thinking I was still with the other person from my past. But I'd look at my man, know everything was okay, and roll over to go back to sleep. Only to awaken from another creepy dream an hour or so later. By the end of the night, I was telling the other guy to go away in the dreams, or telling mutual friends that I didn't want to see him and I was much happier where I am now. It didn't work.
So dreams should be dreams, right? It works in theory, but I keep remembering that usually whenever I've dreamed about this guy, he calls or shows up. There's finally absolutely no thought of going out with him ever again, but that doesn't mean I want to deal with him. He was an important part of my life. If he shows up, it's usually because he's in trouble and I won't just turn him away (and my man now knows this too...). It just makes me edgy to think about him showing up again.
I hold the holidays partially responsible because they've always made me emotionally edgy. Along with half of the rest of the world, I think.
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