12 August 2014

So Big! :(

Sometimes all the issues in my world just get too big for me to confidently comprehend. And if I can't get my head around it all, I feel like a skipping CD... Nothing gets accomplished, and I just wander around in a funk.

This is turning into one of those times.

Metro Detroit? Is under water. Literally. While it luckily didn't extend to my 'hood, I'm watching friends with flood damage, hearing about local friends stranded or taking hours to get to and/or from work, and seeing the videos and pictures of washed out or underwater roads. One intersection reportedly hides about 30 cars completely submerged. There's a reason I don't watch the news anymore, but my new phone now brings it all to me. Ugh.

And Robin Williams. I have to go there. I've suffered from depression. Not everyone can understand how that feels. I'm glad for them, but I'm not in their numbers. I know what it's like to realistically wonder if you'll be able to face another day. And picture how to escape that inevitability. And consider it. It's a horrible, painful place to be, and no one person can get you out. Not even your self. The disease, and its demons, are huge and overwhelmingly powerful. It crushes me that yet another smiling face was a facade.

I didn't sleep last night, contemplating all this. And then my baby boy picked up on that (and maybe the 1 1/2 pizzas he ate for dinner) and 'helped' me stay awake too. So now I'm exhausted, and confused by the world. I just wish I knew some way to make it all feel better.

1 comments:

siteseer said...

The hope for a better tomorrow and you being part of it...that's what keeps me going. (Hugs)