22 March 2010

A Memory for a Monday

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

This is just part of this poem by Patricia Lynn Reilly which we read in our class yesterday. How very moving. The key, of course, is imagining yourself as this woman. Imagine having that confidence in yourself and your place in the world. Powerful, indeed!

I just had to share that, first of all.

On another note, I remember a particular occasion where I don't think my mom thought I was getting the treatment I deserved when I was a young girl. I was invited to a birthday party, at the last minute. Obviously my school friend had invited someone else who couldn't make it, and I was invited the day of the party. Although I realized all of this, I didn't really care that I wasn't the first pick.

I wasn't a particularly popular girl in school, so it wasn't the first time, or the last, when my selection was probably just an afterthought. While I was book-smart, that very seldom endears kids to each other. I wasn't athletic, either, and isn't gym class when the most exclusionary 'dividing into teams' occurs?

I went to the party, with a card containing cash as a gift (and even that felt cold and impersonal - cash as a gift for another child?). This is where the memory ends for me. I went to the party, happy to be included, even as an afterthought. No one was cruel once I was there, and I was easily welcomed and included in the party's activities.

Not everyone can be the first pick, obviously. I think it bothered my mom knowing that I was a last minute invite, as well as dishing out cash for a gift to a child I must not have been very close with. But I wonder sometimes if she realized that I knew the undercurrents as well and just didn't care. It can be nice just to be included and be there, even if you know your attendance doesn't really change the event either way.


Wendy said...

I love hearing these adult memories of your childhood, as silly as it sounds it makes me feel closer to you. I miss family so much. I was book smart and definitely not athetic too. Thanks for sharing. And you are a top pick in my book! Blessings on your procedure!

siteseer said...

Don't remember any of that lol. Guess it wasn't that important to me either :). Glad you were able to go and just have fun. That's the main purpose after all.