29 March 2005

Another rough one. Sorry, this is getting monotonous and boring, eh? Yeah, for me too. I feel like I should be packing up all my crap to get out of his way or something, but all I want to do is sleep. I don’t want to be here, but I don’t want to be anywhere else either. What especially disturbs me is that this is the last week he’s home before two weeks in Germany. I wanted it to be nice, but he seems to think I’ve turned into a super-negative bitch. Everything I say is just coming out all wrong. Last night I slept around the house, but not in our – okay, his – bed. And he didn’t say anything about it. I don’t think I’m ever going to be worth all the trouble I am.
Called on another job lead yesterday, but they filled the position already. I really need to get called back for the next reading project. Is the job market so depressing where you are too? I’m afraid I’m just a big loser.
Just finished reading The Other Side of the Story. It was pretty amusing. I like the way Lily, one of the main characters, sits down and writes the most positive things she can think of when everything in her ‘real’ life is going wrong. Maybe that’s what I need to do.
Anyway, sorry to have poured all this out on you. I really don’t know who else to turn to anymore.

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