03 May 2004

For the past 3 days and today my head is killing me. Okay, in all fairness it's really just a dull throb today. I'm nearly certain it's stress. I'm just exhausted from dealing with my life.

I stepped back to look at it. Was quitting my job in December without a new job the wrong thing to do? I still don't think so. I was so beaten down there I could not summon the extra energy to look for my next one. I couldn't bring myself to do anything but sleep once I left there each day.
Since then I've accomplished so much personally. Unfortunately, this isn't yet translating financially :D. I started dating again. First with the guy around the holidays. While he certainly wasn't one of the good ones, and it wasn't a remotely healthy relationship, it was healthy for me to get out there and prove to myself I could do it again.
I've gone on my first ever girls-only vacation. The trip to Vegas was priceless. I never had a bunch of female friends. While I feel we're already drifting quickly apart, I wouldn't trade that trip for anything. It taught me about my ability to co-exist and have a good time with other women and it taught me about my independence. I was the one not afraid to go in another direction....they were okay with it (as most people would be, and I needed to learn that) and I had a good time too.
Then right after that the really good parts started. I met (well, re-met) the love of my life. I can't remember being without him and I can't imagine ever going it alone again in the future. I feel a clarity about my life. I do have to work outside my home again, but I don't need to get all my value from my job. He appreciates me, I appreciate him and we appreciate what we are and will be in the future. I've never been so sure of anything in my life as our love for each other.
Quitting my job in exactly the way I did in December is the only way things could have gone. I've had experiences and learned things about myself and the world that I never could have done if I were still working there.
I'm a better person for having left.

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