30 October 2017

Just another Manic Monday

Boy oh boy. I'm really trying to glitter up my Monday. I always tell my kids that Monday is just a day...it's a seventh of your life...it's a lousy excuse to write off as a 'bad' day before it even starts. Because, really? The day just is. It's up to you to do something with it. 

Personally, I've had a hard time finding glitter in most of my life lately. And that's totally on me. Not Mondays, not rain, not the cooler weather, me. I know that my mindset is what determines how my days will go. But I'm still having a really hard time trying to picture how I want them to go, much less getting my mindset there. Make sense? It's the blues, depression, defeat, all manifesting as exhaustion.

And since I feel like I've let this shit ride for so long, now I've got roaring ears (ear infection? mental? who know) and a seriously annoying eye twitch to show for it. Not seeing and hearing right makes me feel like I'm losing control of everything.

But I'm a mom, and losing control isn't an option.

Wow. I was hoping this post would take on a life of its own and actually go somewhere. But I'm still in the trenches. I can't yet see a light at the end of the tunnel and not assume it's a train. I'm still making lists, checking things off, and just trying to meet deadlines and get through each day.

The only hope I hold on to is that I've been here before, and I think I was even out for a spell. So there is somewhere else to exist, even if I can't find it now. And I have two kids who ultimately love me and rely on me. I don't ever want them to feel like I feel inside sometimes.

So I'll keep telling them - Monday's just a day...the rain will pass....things are always changing. And I'll try to believe it a little myself.


siteseer said...

I hear you. Sunshine would help. You’re doing great! I hope you know that and see it in the little people you are helping to become AMAZING citizens. One day at a time one foot in front of the other ... turn on some tunes that excite or uplift you. lol be you 😘

Liz Parker said...

Good analogies. I personally hate Mondays, but it's usually because work is so busy :) people are playing catch-up from Friday, are my thoughts on it.