06 August 2006

There's so many ways to get to what's on my mind tonight. There could be the way my aunt possibly loved her daughter-in-law before her son did. She was held up as the perfect girl - too good for just one boyfriend, but then she and my cousin fell in love. But that way makes it about her, and I'd like to think this part of the story is about him.

Or I could start only a little more than a decade ago, when my cousin and his dream bride got married, then another cousin and his wife got married, and then I got married to my first husband. Fast forward a very little bit and I divorced my first husband. Then my cousin (who got married second, for this story) found out his wife planned on leaving him so he blew his brains out, and now the first married cousin has flipped out. He and the dream bride are getting divorced.

The saddest part, to my mind, is that he's trying to push everyone away. He's got a girlfriend ten years younger than him and is insisting he wants to walk away from his wife and three children. The rest of the family thinks he's gone crazy. He was always the responsible one. Oh, the pressure.

To hear the things today that his mother said about her own son...He certainly hasn't done things right lately, but I can't imagine him being very happy with himself about it.
Is it drugs? Is it depression? Am I the only one who is sadder for him for losing himself than for his wife? Am I the only one who has heard the lines some married men offer up and don't think his young girlfriend is the spawn of satan?
He's presenting himself differently to different people, and it appears he's forgotten who he really is.
Or maybe he has really changed his mind about that too.

0 comments: