11 June 2006

So the whole gigantic family reunion is over, and it hardly seems like it was just earlier today. Also unfortunate, the even has been overshadowed in our house by the fact that the man's car broke down on his way to his godson's baptism. It feels like never a month goes by that he doesn't have to spend countless hours getting a car running. To my credit, it usually isn't mine. I attribute that mainly to the fact that my car has no enhancements...that's right - it's stock. Boring? Maybe. But mostly predictable as far as maintenance goes.
What he doesn't understand is that I'm not mad at him. He, on the other hand, is mad at me for suggesting he get a car that isn't fancy or super fast, to use as a 'daily driver.' So he doesn't desperately need to repair the fast ones every time something goes wrong. Right now we have a broken boat in the backyard, a broken car at the shop, and a broken car in the garage. Oh, and of course my unbroken car in the garage (and luckily, my future sister-in-law's unbroken car in the driveway). I'm not mad at him. I'm very mad that he thinks this is an acceptable way to live. What if I were pregnant and we broke down? Will we break down on the way home from my surgery this week? I hate having to consider these possibilities, that's all. And that's not even starting on how much all this broken stuff costs.
He already asked me why we needed groceries this week. How about because I'll be stranded here next weekend while he's gone, and people may be stopping by to help me out, and I might like to offer them to help themselves to something besides the water from the tap? I don't know - eating is just a habit I've gotten in to over the years.
No, I'm not mad at him. I'm madly in love with him. I just wonder why I keep feeling like I come second after his need for speed. I try to keep my mouth shut to avoid the conflict, but then I wonder if that's fair either. I don't feel like I can win. And he's convinced he's already lost. I guess that means I lost too, cuz we're on the same team :(