12 October 2003

So I expected to have a great time on my long weekend to New Jersey, but I didn’t expect to come back and miss someone.
I hooked up with an ‘off-limits,’ my friend’s brother. I want to still be with him now.
While I didn’t mean to hook up with him, now I’m a little nervous that it wasn’t just a hook-up. I miss him. Her friend that she wanted me to hit it off with was cool, but the spark just wasn’t there. But I want the off-limits brother to come looking for me.

I loved their whole world. I don’t have close friends that I ‘hang-out’ with here. Being there, even when we weren’t doing something, just being there as a part of the crowd, was fabulous. Being back here, I feel even more alone and separated. There’s a hollow spot growing inside me.
I want him to come find me and make it go away.

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