13 September 2003

Hi! :wave

So I'm sorta fighting being bummed tonight. See, I've been working hard for something I'm really looking forward to, and I just found out someone else might have the same something to look forward to, but without the working hard. If it was just that random, I'd be pissed off, but it's not. The someone else deserves a break, and I'm thrilled that we can all look forward to it together, and it'll be cool! What irks me (then makes me feel guilty for feeling irked...) is that I'm getting the impression lately in my whole life like I'm the only one paying full price. In this case, honestly, I couldn't be happier for everyone involved. But in other cases, I'm tired of watching slackers and losers have people fix stuff up for them that their laziness/incompetence/complete idiocy screwed up. And even more, I'm tired of working my finger to the bone for what they're having handed to them on a silver platter.

I'm just tired, and don't want to keep doing it all anymore than they do. But they get out of it and I don't. Everything's just really piling up. I am seeing a therapist this week, but can they really do anything? I'm scared they might not.

Yeah, this has been coherent. I wish I could say the view is clearer from inside my head, but it's not.

No comments: