30 June 2003

So after a few weeks off, I’m feeling completely homicidal/suicidal again today. Now, before anyone calls the helpline for me, I couldn’t off myself. As much as I’d like to, I saw what it did to my family when my cousin did, so I’m stuck here. In a dead-end job where I’m worth less than the chair they park me on. My closest co-worker makes almost twice as much as me. She just interrupted what I was doing to have me subscribe like 5 people to our newsletter, after she’d gone through all the ‘important’ messages. It took me less than 5 minutes, but it was beneath her – hey, perfect task for me! Fucking loser.

Mom thinks I should go out more. I think what she really wants is grandchildren. So that would mean that when she says I should go out more, what she really means is that I should get knocked up. Yeah. I can’t afford to feed me and two cats, why on earth would I want to add a screaming, shitting pile of baby to the mix?

To that end (going out more), I did go to a nasty little hick bar on Saturday. If it were up to me and any of the males at this establishment, the human race would die out. Probably according to either of us. I found none of them attractive enough to hook up/breed with, and no one can stand to be in my company for very long anyway.

Yes, I am a miserable bitch, thanks for asking.

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