So I wanted to write something meaningful. After thinking for a bit, I couldn’t come up with anything. I think that is truly pitiful. The word that has come to best describe my life is apathy. According to Dictionary.com, apathy is 1) Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference; 2) Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness. Yup, that sounds like me.
I don’t feel like anything I say, do or think makes a difference. And so I’ve given up saying, doing and thinking. No matter what, I’ll keep working at least 40 hours a week, making barely enough to get by but never enough to get ahead, and eventually, mercifully, I’ll die. As Troy says in Reality Bites, “[Life] is all just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes.” Actually I think he even attributes the quote to his father, but you get the general idea. I feel like I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not even getting there very fast. Abysmal, really.
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