Blessings

I'm feeling exceptionally crappy lately. I try to focus on my blessings, but the list seems to start and end at Maggie some days. Her latest saying is, "I'll do everything to hurt you. I promise," (with the emphasis on the P and R in promise). I think I'm the only one who doesn't correct her, because I just love the sincerity as she delivers words that (hopefully!) are the opposite of what she means to say. Kinda funny in a sad way that these words are the bright spot in some of my days, because she's so darn adorable saying them.

Business is going great, but 'great' in my business doesn't really measure up to some fancy career thing. I suppose it could if I wanted that much from it, but I don't. I thought I'd love the recognition and the sense of accomplishment, but they're kind of hollow compared to other people's achievements. I start feeling a little too 'cute' with my nice little business. Like people make fun of me after I leave the room.

I guess my whole life is starting to feel little. Some of it's necessary. Things don't move fast with an almost-three-year-old in tow at all times. And I honestly love that. But will I ever be accepted and appreciated by the grown-ups again? Or did I ever deserve it anyway?

I know I should sit down and list out all the great things in my life, but every time I battle with depression, that list makes it worse. I have so many blessings and so much to be thankful for, and I still get down in the dumps. It makes me feel like an even worse person than if I was depressed and at least had a legitimately lousy life. It's an endless cycle, and I just want to see the end of it someday.

Wordless Wednesday

Sad?

I was just realizing how little television I watch now that the shows I'd gotten used to are gone. No more 24, is the most recent sadness :(
Still plenty of PBS kids, and Disney with Mickey's Clubhouse, but I can't really justify getting Samsung HDTV for those (sorry, Maggie!).
Unless the neighbors wanted to watch the same programs? Those folks with the giant TV you can watch from across the street always amuse me. Is that you or someone you know?

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Can I not have original thoughts in paragraph form and still be a decent blogger? Sorry about all the memes. Half the time when I think of something I'm passionate enough to really want to write about, I worry about the people who wouldn't agree. So I fill in another questionnaire instead.


We saw really creepy, weird flashing outside our house last night (okay, early this morning). Maggie started yelling that she was scared and to come get her around 5 AM (I'm guessing on the time - the power had already gone out at least once before then, so the clocks were flashing some time that had no correlation to reality). As I went to get her, I felt and heard a power surge - the weird low buzz along with the drain of any lights left on (which there weren't any...). In her room she said she was afraid of the 'lighteling' (her word for lightning) (geez - enough parentheses in this story??). I saw a bright flash outside her window, and then a couple more. They were in a rhythm and definitely were not lightning. There was also no rain or thunder at this point. As I went back to our bedroom with Maggie and told hubby that wasn't lightning, you could also see flashes out the two windows in our room (which face different directions than Maggie's window). We could only assume it was a transformer (for electricity, not a giant converting robot, hopefully).
Very weird.


I'm still totally loving having Faygo Rock & Rye in the house, but I've abandoned the notion that I've 'given up' Cherry Coke. Complete poppycock. I love Cherry Coke. Deal with it.


I'm rocking my new camera, even though I'm by no means any sort of photographer. My new camera just makes my drivel look a little prettier, I think. I will need to reorganize how I store photos. Before, I only saved all the stuff of Maggie, with very few of my friends otherwise. Now I'm taking pictures of buildings and things that look interesting to me, and I'd like to save them somehow. I'm thinking just dates in a folder of stuff I've taken, with separate folders for actual 'events.' Have you tried this? Suggestions?


I think my latest order of color copies from SirCooper will be in tomorrow, which means it will be back to work for me! Preparing info packets about my job as a chocolatier, putting together hostess packets, organizing calls to be made, and gearing up for at least four shows in July before conference! Woo-hoo!!

Weekend in Review

Friday: I had a girls' night out to attend where I was presenting Dove Chocolate Discoveries for everyone's enjoyment :) I could have stayed longer and was having a good time visiting with old and new friends, but the sky started looking a little creepy, so I got out before the thunderstorms rolled in.

Saturday: I got up in the morning to be ready for someone who was going to pick up her chocolate order, but then she overslept ;) If it's not one thing it's another, right? But because I wasn't sure if she was on her way, hubby and I staggered our 'getting ready' time so someone would be available to answer the door. By 11 or so we were all on our way. Hubby and his dad took the boat out for a test for the first time this season, and Maggie and I headed to a Pool/Birthday party. Maggie had a blast and loved going down the water slide.

Saturday evening we headed downtown to walk the Detroit Riverwalk. It was our first time. It was kind of a bummer to have to pay $3 each adult to get in (but the food/drinks/carnival rides still cost more after you bought your wristband for admittance), but we dealt with it. Although Maggie was quite drawn to the carnival rides - especially the ferris wheel, she was excited to wait and ride the 'train' (the People Mover) at the end of the night instead. She stood on her seat and waved out the window the whole way. "Hi cars! Hi people! Hi stores!"

Sunday: Not much time for hubby and I to be together this weekend, as we again headed our separate ways. His sister had a Fathers' Day BBQ for their dad, but it was at noon so his other sister could go to work that afternoon. Hubby and Maggie headed back downtown for that visit, while I went to catch up with some friends I hadn't seen for a while in Ann Arbor. It turned out to be a good thing hubby hadn't driven me out there, as we took much longer to catch up than we expected!
Sunday night we finally saw Avatar. I hadn't really been trying to watch it, and was quite pleasantly surprised - it was a good movie and I'd recommend it!

Saturday Nine

Welcome to Saturday: 9. What we’ve committed to our readers is that we will post 9 questions every Saturday. Sometimes the post will have a theme, and at other times the questions will be totally unrelated. Those weeks we do “random questions,” so-to-speak. We encourage you to visit other participants posts and leave a comment. Because we don’t have any rules, it is your choice. We hate rules. We love memes, however, and here is today’s meme!

Saturday 9: Jumping Someone Else’s Train

Want to join in? Then head on over to Saturday 9.

1. When was your last train ride? Actually, Maggie was thrilled to death to ride the People Mover earlier tonight.

2. How many foreign countries have you visited? Tell us about one. Let's see...Canada (that's a given, living in Michigan), Bahamas, a couple of cruise ports, Germany and Austria. Austria was sort of a day-trip when we were living in Germany for a few months back in 2007.

3. What do you always take with you on vacation? A few books to read and a camera.

4. Tell us about something you’ve lost recently. My focus and motivation - hoping to find them again soon and whip them back into shape!

5. Do you prefer action packed vacations or relaxing ones? Relaxing, definitely.

6. How long will you wait in a check out line before abandoning your purchases? Depends on where I am and what I need...

7. How old do you wish you were? I can't wish anything different than who I am - too much risk of losing some of what I love!

8. Do you consider yourself kind? Yes.

9. Tell us about your tattoos. Or if you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be? I've got a sun and a moon (on opposite hips) and a daisy colored like the American flag (on my ankle). I'd love to get a small daisy with a pentacle at the center, but I'm not sure where yet.

What the Hell Wednesday

Some SUV stopped right in front of my house the other day. The passenger got out, then got a big dog out of the back seat. I stood at the big picture window and watched while I talked on the phone. The woman with the dog proceeded to walk down the street out of my line of vision. I figured the SUV was just dropping her off (our dirt road is pretty miserable to drive on). But the SUV stayed and the woman and dog eventually returned. As near as I can tell, they pulled onto my street so their dog could shit. Nice. Luckily - since they saw me watching - it wasn't in my yard, but really? WTH, people!

I barely got anything picked up in the office in the whole week that has passed since I've been done with my serious time-drain job. Seriously - WTH, ME?? Get off your lazy duff and get this room like you want it!

I have hours and hours...and hours.....and hours of training CDs (and a couple DVDs) to listen to. Note to self: Acquiring the training media does not improve my skills. I need to listen to them! I've got one going now. If I start listening to them with Maggie, we'll be a phenomenal sales force in no time! I suppose this is just half of a WTH - WTH to the pile of stuff, not to the info on it!

Important Announcement

Yesterday's video and wishes were for hubby's birthday - today is indeed my birthday :)
So far I got to wake up with my favorite baby girl in my bed. She has refused to say happy birthday so far, but I'm sure I'll get it eventually. I'm boiling some corn on the cob to eat for...well, brunch. Because I like corn on the cob. Oh, and I ate a double chocolate chip cookie when Maggie wasn't looking.
After we get cleaned up, we're going to make some nacho dip and head to Mimi and Papa's to meet up with lots of family!

Happy Birthday Daddy!!

Today is hubby's birthday, so Maggie and I made this for him:

In the Olden Days...

We were talking tonight about the 'convenience' of cell phones, and one person said she purposely leaves hers at home sometimes. Whoa! I wouldn't dream of that. I don't really use mine for much socialization, but when hubby travels, or Maggie's at someone else's house - or even at my house with someone other than me! - I really feel better being reachable.

What other things have we gotten used to for good or bad reasons?

It's been a long time since we've gone without cd players or something similar in our cars. Imagine if there was just AM radio again, or NOTHING!

The internet is an endless source of convenience, right? All the things I could be doing now - working, blogging (yup!), playing games, reading weight loss product reviews, shopping, connecting with old friends, etc, etc...the list is practically endless!

10 Random Things for Friday

1. I just had some shrimp fried rice from the grocery store freezer section for dinner. Yes, I warmed it up. It wasn't bad, but I feel bad for not finishing it. I never finish anything I'm supposed to eat :(
2. I think I may go to bed early again tonight. My shoulder/neck/back is still bugging me :( I'm hoping it feels better tomorrow so I can be ready to pay attention at my sales training!
3. The next part of cleaning the office involves making room on convenient shelves for some of this stuff. Unfortunately that involves making a bigger mess by clearing the shelves, so I can re-home some items, to use the shelves for what I want.
4. Some neighbors were putting off firecrackers already earlier tonight. It may be a looonnngg summer.
5. I love my little girl more than anyone in the whole world.
6. I was really hoping I'd have my new 'flair' buttons that I earned in a March contest before my sales training tomorrow, but it didn't happen :( They must be really cool buttons, because this is the third set mailed to me...the first two never made it.
7. Anyone want to have a June chocolate party? I really thought I'd fill up my catalog with the crowd at my show tonight, but it didn't happen. I feel bad not giving away more chocolate this month!
8. I just took a muscle relaxer. Hopefully it will help with this shoulder/neck/back thing. I wanted to see my chiropractor today, but he's a half hour away...and closed at 1 PM :(
9. I don't like all the frown-y faces I'm typing lately! I'm usually a pretty positive person, right?
10. I'm not as bummed as I should be that I didn't do my grocery shopping tonight. It would have been nice to do it without Maggie in tow, but I forgot to transfer the money before I left the house. Huh. Bummer.
    

Looking for a Good Book?

I'm almost finished reading The Lonely Polygamist (the author's name escapes me right this minute...). It's been a great read so far - definitely not fluff. I only have a little bit left, and I'm not sure how/if he's going to wrap up some of the loose ends. For instance, one part that doesn't seem to contribute a lot to their ongoing story besides how it shapes their personalities potentially and some of the health stuff is when they discuss the nearby bomb testing and its radioactive fallout.

I should know soon if it's a bigger contributor to the plot than I've spotted so far...

Not so Wordless Wednesday

Today I'm offering you a series of pictures...taken by Maggie :) She loves to play with the camera - glad it's the days of digital, or we'd need stock in Kodak film!

Mommy, taken a couple months ago by Maggie. Don't worry - she said "Say cheese" first to make sure I was smiling :)

Mommy taken by Maggie a couple months ago - still smiling.

Another nice one by Maggie of Mommy after I'd walked into Maggie's room. Of course I'm smiling.

Audrey the cat, taken by Maggie earlier today.

Maggie's feet, taken by Maggie on our way to lunch today.

Worn out from all the picture taking! (I took this one :) )

Overall I think she's improving, but I'm really glad we don't have to pay for all these shots! ;)

Hip to be Square?

I was realizing today how totally out of the loop I am when it comes to 'cool.' (If that's even the right word anymore!) Luckily I don't think it will matter much for a few more years, right?

Maggie and I met a friend for lunch today and as we drove near campus, I saw some college kids walking around. I was noticing what they were wearing, and the fact that I had no idea what any of it meant. One group was two guys and one girl in khakis, with relatively casual shirts, one girl in a skirt and shirt, and one guy in 'skinny' jeans and a shirt. Were they all together as friends or co-workers? Had the guy and the girl who were dressed differently met up with the khaki crew after some event? Were the folks in khakis usually in hip hop clothes, but dressing special for something? It was a relatively warm day. I hope they weren't dressed semi-nicely just for fun!

My usual attire is just one of my four pairs of jeans and a shirt that matches the shade of my bra (since it's good to let your bra 'rest' for a day between wearings, I alternate between my black one and my pink one. Yeah, I know...TMI). I had fun dressing up to go out with hubby last weekend, but it made me sort of wonder where I fit in anymore....my clothes are just old, no particular style that I know of.

What's your style, and how do you show it?

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Now that I have a bit more time to do activities besides working the job requiring minimum hours each week, I'm totally forgetting to write anything down in my handy-dandy calendar. This could be a problem if I don't straighten myself out quick. Tonight, for example, I accidentally committed myself to going to my parents' for dinner at the same time as I'm doing a chocolate party for a friend. Oops!

I can't stand the smell of ketchup. Just sayin.

At least I now have a picture in my mind of how I want the office laid out to work better for me. That's already further than I got last night ;)

I'm really looking forward to lunch with a friend tomorrow! I try to make lots of plans when hubby is working extra long hours so I do something other than mope at home. I think we've got stuff going on every day this week now - yay?! Hahahaha....we are having fun.

I'm heading from here to update some pictures on the photo blog. It's been over a month, and I no longer have a photo for every day, but I'm not ready to completely throw in the towel yet.

Reflecting and Rambling....

So I'm being sucked in to Facebook...again. Now that I'm done with my job that required the consistent hours, I'm getting back into the groove of having my own life. With frequent Facebook sidetrips. Oops.

I may have found some of the secret of why my blog isn't wildly popular. I don't have a major 'hook' or situation in my life that draws everyone's interest. My personal tragedies aren't anything I feel like reliving and dwelling on, so I don't mention the worst of them in the first place. My history is relatively uneventful. I had a happy childhood, a pretty uneventful 'partying' history for my college years, and an ex-husband who was never much more than a blip on my personal timeline (sorry, it's true). My husband and child now are mostly good. They're healthy, engage appropriately in our relationship, and well, basically normal. And I'm glad!

But I think it all makes me a boring person at the end of the day. Boring, contented and happy. But not all that great for reading. ;)

10 Random Things for Friday

1. Last night's chocolate event went great! Ten ladies dropped by, three booked parties, and two are considering becoming chocolatiers! Woo-hoo!!
2. My other job finally wrapped up. Most projects are only a few weeks - six weeks seemed to last forever!
3. I've run the dishwasher (off to empty it next) and done two loads of laundry so far today. I still need to pick up some more stuff from last night's party (but I needed room in the dishwasher to facilitate that...).
4. The checkbook is off by $194.17, but it's in our favor. I'm tired of looking for it for now.
5. I finally called the pharmacy for a refill today. I still need to call the dentist about my achy tooth, the cardiologist about an October follow-up, and AAA about my mysteriously bashed turn signal.
6. If hubby is feeling better tonight, I'd considered going to the drive-in, but I'm not fired up about any of the movies showing.
7. I really hope hubby is feeling better tomorrow so we can drop Maggie off with my parents and have a date night before he schedules another business trip!
8. I'm looking forward to getting some things cleaned up around here (like my office) and doing some scrapbooking in the next few weeks.
9. And I want to get Maggie's gold fish picture framed. Cuz I'm weird like that. I should take a picture of it so you can see it (it's too big to scan).
10. Hubby just called and mentioned a steakhouse for dinner. That sounds much yummier than the Wanchai Ferry chicken in our freezer, but not very fiscally responsible if we're planning date night tomorrow too ;)
    

To-Do List for June 3, 2010

Well! Tomorrow night (it will all be over with in less than 24 hours) I'm having what will hopefully be a large open house for my chocolate business! I've found there are a lot of people who have never seen anything from the company, or have been hostesses in the past but haven't seen anything lately, and want to see it without first committing to their own party. So I invited them all over. More than 100 people. I'm actually optimistically expecting around 10% - like ten people - but they're from different groups, so it's a great evening of opportunity! With plenty of prep work still to go....

• Decide exactly which recipes I'll be serving
• Go grocery shopping for ingredients
• Go shopping for mini-serving plastic glasses
• Prepare hostess packets for everyone who will want to book their own tasting
• Clean the bathroom :)
• Dust and vacuum living areas (living room, dining area, kitchen and hallway)
• Shower & put on makeup (hey, it's a party, right?)
• Put out 'open date card' so everyone knows what dates I'm available to schedule their tasting
• Prepare recipes for serving
• Put out catalogs and order forms
• Decide on raffle system (how many tickets for what activity - attending, bringing guests, ordering, booking, looking at the chocolatier opportunity) and prizes!
• Call 'maybe' booking people before open house to see if they want dates before they're gone
• Participate in conference call/training at noon (I'm so afraid I'm going to forget this one!)

Why am I afraid this list is only going to grow??

I Am So Smart: S-M-R-T!

I saw this over at Where the Road Takes Us. I'm not surprised we got the same result ;)

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convincing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds